Great Caesar’s ghost! Are you blind as Homer?
Must I explode like a star over this confound-
ed mess? Your byline reeks of misnomer!
Crime reporter? When news breaks you’re never around!
Last week, when history’s greatest hero
grabbed a speeding bullet with his hand on
Metropolis’s main street…you scored a zero!
He leaps The Daily Planet, nabs a felon’s
helicopter…and where are you? An eye exam!
Oh, your gray suit’s always pressed. Your raven
hair’s cute forelock lures Lois’s leer. A sham!
Lois red-eyes stories! You just stay well-shaven!
She digs the dirt! Sniffs out stench with a hound’s obsession!
She’s got the strength of…Kent, you’re in the wrong profession!
Roger Armbrust
July 16, 2009
